another lesson..

some material problem happened..
no body wants to be blamed..
neither the pt.. nor supplier..
moreover me!

but, being me..
who hates things that can make life miserable..
which can cause my precious time being wasted..
hate to look at pt’s stern looking face..
dislike being called with angry voice..
especially when they can ‘make a mountain out of a molehill’…

so,
i took deep breathe and gave my sweetest smile..
offered my sincere apology..
to the mistake hardly done by me!

hoping and praying the best for us all..

another lesson learnt..

and this time…

..with cost!!

friends

am i not have friends??

well.. to me, doesn’t ‘hang out’ with other than your own relatives/family doesn’t mean that you have no friends..

my friends are always there for me..
they are there when needed..
in their very own special ways..

why i bring this up.. is because a very thoughtful patient asked me last week..

“Dr, do you have friends? i believe you’ve worked in gov before and working with friends.. but now, you are all alone here..”

very true indeed..

i was surrounded with friends when i worked in hospital..
every Friday afternoon, we’ll hang out having lunch together.. Saturday, attending CME at the hall..
‘berkampung’ in OT on big surgical days..
busying ourselves with gossips, sharing stories, laugh..
but that was long time ago..
long before i discovered my present life..

it started when we were in Japan..
and i was like ’stranded’ with a toddler and a baby in a small aparto..
having to live with them with no other choice given!
counting minutes and hours before my husband walk through the door and finally me.. having someone to speak to!!

but despite of that.. i found myself ’sink’ and ‘blend’ in those peaceful moments.. and i craved for more..
how i love that life..!

since then, my definition of friends changed!

my kids become my best buddies!! i found many reasons to smile, laugh and scream..

my close-to-heart friend is my mama walid.. i just can’t let a day pass by without a call to mama.. or remembering walid.. the hottest gossips to share are always with mama!!

to have good and ’sinful’ laugh??.. call my sisters..

to spend leisure time?.. visit my inspiring ‘blogger’ friends..

to share and answer my questions.. thanks to fellow GP friends..!

need good old friends when we were in school? university?.. thanks to facebook

and

the best and great friend to me is always my husband!
we always have things to discuss, new objectives to achieve… and i appreciate the way a man thinks!! unlike women!! hehe..
and i become who i am now because of my ‘friendship’ with this man!

presently.. besides them… i have my patients, my regular customers.. they are my ‘unique’ and ’superspecial’ friends..

those supermom who fix different appointment for each kids and know exactly ‘who’ had ‘what’ problem.. later run to fetch and send others to school and tuition classes..

those who come to clinic with gossips and latest stories of what’s happening in our community..

they aren’t ordinary people.. they are successful businessmen, lawyers, great teachers, paediatrician, tukang sapu, pak guard, maids, pilots and stewardess, politician, CEO, COO..etc.. and even State Chief Police Officer..!!

they become my friends in a very special way..

they let me share their great experience, they give me good advices and new knowledge..

what else can i ask for from a friend?…

i just have to be in the clinic to have all these wonderful people surround me!!

the truth is.. i love my life…. and to me, ‘friend’ is only a word.. that only you can describe..

*psst.. Ju (a.k.a my patient, my good old friend).. bile ‘date’ kita nak menjadi nih??hihiii..

1 year

early morning..
while d kids are still asleep, we slipped out of the house..
bringing with us a bag, packed few weeks earlier..
du’a and zikr.. along the way..

after parking, we walk hand in hand.. so romantic..
’surrendering’ myself to maternity ward..
while sipping the last drop of cold milo..

entering the room..
nurse asked me to change..
within half an hour.. i was all ready in delivery room..
waiting for the specialist.. with my love next to me..

the drip starts exactly at 9am..
mild contraction wiped off with the help of sudoku..
i still managed to complete few games before it got harder..

finally it’s time..
12.54 noon.. Syahmi Haydar enters the world
bringing with him joy and love..
Blessings from God..

that was a year ago..
when this boy refused to come out!!
my overdue baby..
my first experience being induced..

and now, he is staring at me, with a big grin.. showing off his 3 teeth.. celebrating his first year of life..

Dear boy,
there are so much more to come.. to explore.. to learn..
the best du’a from mama walid..
love from abg and kakak..

Happy Birthday, Syahmi Haydar..

smoke

with heavily stained teeth, strong nicotine smell.. he turned to me..

“Dr, how to stop smoking??”

i was about to start his routine scaling.. mentally prepared to face the thick tartar..
suddenly this question came…

he made me speechless..

my walid was a heavy smoker too..

the patient started his story of how difficult to stop, how hard he has tried, how long he had been smoking…

my walid had almost the same story..

when i was small, i told myself
“i hate all smokers in this world.. except my walid!”
i was known to be his daughter who will never ever help him ‘ambik sat rokok kat bilik’ or ‘belikan rokok kt walid’ to show my protest..
i was once cried in front of him to show how i hate him smokes back..
he always teased me to buy him birthday present no other than a carton of cigar..

as i growing up i understand his feeling.. i know its hard for him to stop.. and i also understand how he enjoys smoking too..

i heard him telling my bro to never start smoking..
‘jangan jadi macam walid’..

he’s a fighter..
he fought to be on top..
to be a successful person.. a great leader..

and he was!! he succeed..!!
but not on this matter…

to that patient,
i have no words to share.. i almost choked!
there were so many memories he brought back by asking that question..

i swallowed hard the tears and scaled his teeth to almost perfect white!

i hope the shining teeth he has now will not only make his smile more beautiful..
but will add lights to his own self..

…to stop smoking..

my words ;)

what i’ve learnt in 3 days.. started on that 01022010

1. there’s no easy way to get what we really want.. strive and search hard for it!

2. always believe in ‘the script’ written for us.. so, no pressure when making decision..

3. be together.. with people you love and trust! if you have different way of thinking, appreciate the loved ones’ opinion too…

4. read, survey and open your heart to learn and accept new things which is totally out of your own field.. it’s fun!! trust me..

5. let yourself dream, fantasize.. but get back to the reality when the time ‘comes’..

6. always respect the old ones.. they have lots and lots to share.. they do ‘lebih dulu makan garam’ from us..

7. whatever you do… be realistic, be yourself.. du’a and tawakkal.. love will keep growing and blooming..

8. always smile.. and laugh over those silly things you’ve made..

..anyway,

life is short..

too short to waste on something that can make your life miserable, that can wipes out your sweet smile or even make your heart aches!

be friend with everyone.. if they don’t want to, let them be.. ‘delete’ them! if they come peeking at your wordpress.. let them be!! they’ll come ‘knocking’ one day….

appreciate new friendship.. a good ones.. (eg: Ah Meng! and our last nite’s friend.. )

and more importantly, be happy and appreciate loves around you..

i just hope and pray.. whatever the decision my husband and i has made..
it will be the best for us all..

no 2..

don’t ask me how..
i just did it..

with a ‘little bit of force’..
i succeed

and hoping he’ll let me do it again next time..
and let it be easier..
for both of us, ok?!!

18 more to go ,boy..
the one i took out just now.. was no 2!!

heee…

today n last 2 days..

let me start with simple wish and meaningful du’a for my little bro (who aren’t ‘little’ anymore!!)..
Happy 21st birthday, Syed Naqib Shahabuddin..

the memories of your birth day 21 years ago stays fresh forever.. kkshwa ponteng sekolah sbb sooo excited to have a little cute bro that day..
you complete us all.. we become 3 sis and 2 bro forever!!
harta tak ternilai buat mama dan walid..!!
jom jadi anak soleh solehah..!!

another special day today for a new parents.. welcome to a wonderful world of parenthood to my cousin Fairuz and Marziatul.. congratulations!!
cepat2 update blog.. kkshwa happy sbb bertambah patients jugak!! hehe..

ok.. i have to keep this short..
enjoy the pics down here..

we had great, superb, wonderful and educational day @ Zoo Melaka..
and later joined with mama, my 2 tough bro and MMA group to have an ‘unforgettably-stucked’ moment in Bandar Melaka..

d whole gang… kkdiea!! where were you??

they learn a lot!!

this lill’ guy too.. he loves nature.. he loves birds d most!! and i think he loves zoo!! d only sound that came out from this guy is ‘uuu…ttee.. oohhh..’ and no crying at all!!!

small adventurous experience for d kids..

family photos..

and watch out for d elephants, kids!!!!!!!!!!!

err.. Gold Coast!!.. here we come…!!

..iskk…

mama has got no words left to say, boy!
just look at this photos..

wonderful, eh??
our great time together…

i want you to know how much i love you..
will never.. ever.. hurt you..
in any ways..
believe me..

mama just want you to open your mouth..
let mama apply the ‘magic cream’..
pull out that ‘gross-danggling’ looking tooth..
let you suck a cool favourite ice cream immediately..
and give you MC for the day..

let me, dear..
please…
begging you..
iskk..

girl rules!!

Shahdina Humayra’s rules..

1. its ok.. i can go to bed ‘all by myself’ now..

2. give me kisses before i sleep and MUST BE walid first.. then, mama!
mmg tak boleh langgar peraturan ni! if not, we have to go out of the room and do it again!

3. i’ll cry loud and hard if i wake up and realise that nobody kissed me!! even though we did and she already fall asleep during that time!! errgghh…

4. mama stay in front of this door and wave to me until the car takes that corner.. !!

5. botol air ni letak kt poket sini… bukan left, tapi right!

6. kawan mayra pakai brooch kat sini and name tag kakak pakaikan tinggi sangat..! it’s wrong!!

7. mama kena kejutkan mayra.. bukan kakak, bukan walid!
she woke up very early this morning and cried.. asking ‘knapa mama tak kejut mayra??’ ‘o dear.. not 6 o’clock yet!!’ and walid will snap back to her everytime she knocks at our door!!

8. she really recites du’a before eating, sleep and going to school.. strictly!… all because ‘teacher said so..’! still in progress to memorize du’a before going to toilet..

and i love rule no 8 very very much!!

she rules!!
she got me!!

.. but, as long as you behave, dear…
daijoubu!!

tougher!

i noticed..
the way i see a cavity has changed!
..from years ago.. or even a day before that!

i saw difficulties.. i saw hard works.. and sometimes, i saw incapabilities!!

but i tried.. i tackled..
i failed.. and succeed..

that’s life..

as you turn 30’s.. getting older..
you’ll be wiser..
you’ll see things differently…
in an easy mode..

why??.. because there are so much more to go through..
which i believe will be tougher..

pray to Allah.. with all d experience i’ve been through, this morning’s 5.5 units bridge preparation will be smooth…
permudahkanlah, ya Allah..