0153

1.53am..
WHAT??
1.53am??

the last time i stayed up doing nothing..
was like hundred years ago..
ok.. tipu..
i think when i was a student..
that was more than 10 years ago..

then..
what am i doing at this hour..
10 years later??..

telling the truth..
i don’t know!!

i just had my usual full appointment Saturday..
the left leg still aching from ‘over exercise’ session..
i had ‘twitching’ pain on right shoulder this morning..
it got worse after 2pm..
took Myonal 50mg at 4pm..
felt sleepy, the side effect, but can’t sleep..
went to our neighbor’s BBQ party.. lightheaded..

surprisingly..
i had wonderful get together with friends and new friends and foods and foods..
totally forgot about those spasms and the sleepiness..
err.. forgot about the kids too..
terrible mom!
got carried away while carrying a cute baby who left her sweet baby scent on my hand..
the twitching pain comes back due to that..
helped the neighbor to clean up..
prepared the kids who refused to sleep at 12midnight..
patiently waiting for dear husband to come back..
but seems like he’s not going to until everybody does..
err.. not sure when that gonna happen since i can still hear their laughter from our neighbor’s house!!

shouldn’t i supposed to feel tired??

ok… let’s try this..

SWITCH THIS LAPPY OFF..
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TAKE ANOTHER MYONAL 50MG..
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AND SEE WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN!!

till later..
*will let you know the result*

d ‘talking’..

long weekend that was..
and we had kenduri at our house..
a small one..
caterers did most of the works..
i even had my usual full appointment Saturday..
few hours before the guests turned up..

the rest was just running here and there..
chit chatting with new friends..
exchanging stories with the neighbors..
and welcoming the 15 honorable guests..

the next day..
we wrapped everything up and headed to PD..
photo of ‘someone’ on the roof..
was the highlight of the day..

rest of the stay..
we hide away the ticking clock..
and let the time passed by..
slow and steady..
while munching those healthy fresh ulam ulaman..

*am so glad to be back with the routines… fully charged!!! err.. can you smell the sweet jasmines at d yard??*

WW 14..

will let these photos do d talking..

can’t ‘hear’ them??
hehe..
story.. tomorrow, eh??..

lurve…

7.44am..
and i smell like sardine!
yesterday we had assam tumis..
tired of curry and masak lemak already..
sardine with ikan masin and telur dadar sounds good, eh?

today is the kids’ last day at school..
before 1 week break..
they really looking forward to it..
me too..

we’ve had OT 3 days in a row..
not complaining or what..
i was sort of ‘volunteered’ for that..
because i am a mom..
and when there are 3 or 4 family members came for appointment..
mom always the last..
and if the kids or husband took most of the time..
mom always said “it’s ok.. i’ll make new appointment”..

but since it happened at the end of the day..
no one is waiting outside..
and both cases were my chinese regular customers..
and Chinese New Year is just around the corner..
and impossible for me to slot her in this last few days..
and my maid had fetched Harith from school already..
“why not now??”

so, i made them smile..
i ‘repositioned’ a tilted front tooth..
become ‘straight’..
by doing ‘composite veneer’..
plus..
few skills i learned from that 3 days convention last weekend..
and it turned out great!

the mom loved it!!
you should see her smile..
the way she grins..
and yes.. i should have snap a photo of that.. *blame me!*

i also changed some old composites for another mom..
made the colour look the same..
it really brightened up her smile!

the point is..
i love my job..
love what i’m doing..
love seeing beautiful smile..
and love cooking for the loved ones too.. *walaupun sardin!*

Praise be to Allah..

*Gong Xi.. Gong Xi..*

wordless not..

Wordless Wednesday today??
nope!
i’ve been wordless for few days already..

been making some adjustment..
in my 2012 time management..

Harith in standard 3..
Mayra in standard 1..
different session..
morning will be KAFA class for Harith..
while Mayra’s in the afternoon..

except Monday..
afternoon class will end at 6.20pm..
meaning i’ll be at home the earliest around 6.45pm!!

and starting this year..
my clinic starts at 9am..
so, no more ‘dilly dally morning’ till 10!!

i introduce afternoon break from 12 till 2pm..
specially for me to spend time with the kids..
before the afternoon classes start..

there were few times when we had long cases..
i just managed to wave goodbye through the window..

Mayra did mentioned in the first week..
“rindu la nak main lama2 dengan abg Harith..”
so sweeett…

Haydar??
i pity him the most..
refused few times to climb up the stairs..
“tak suke la clinic.. jom jalan-jalan”
“mama takyah patient.. kesian Haydar takde mama”
ayat-ayat drama that can melt my heart..

so, the plan is to send him to the nearest playschool..
and i’m searching hard for that too..

with the tight operation hour..
i notice our productivity increases..
we stretch every minutes we have to slot in new cases..
the waiting list system works tremendously well..
hoping the best in return..
insyaAllah..

you’ll see me updating my notes..
not as frequent as i used to..

morning hour will see me working with pots and pans..
preparing lunch and first part of dinner..
once i jump out from the car in the evening..
the pots and pans clunk again..
for the final part before dinner..

by Maghrib we’ve full stomach..
everybody exchange stories in between..
the never ending ones, i tell ya!..

homework and tomorrow’s prep..
will take like the whole night..
and when can i sit and type my notes??

call anything you like..
life can be a roller coaster ride..
or life is full of surprises..
the ups and downs..
life is beautiful..
life is problem solving..
one after another..

till my next notes..

3 days..

those 3 days..

full of knowledge..
packed with activities..
valuable experiences shared..
beautiful guests..
long lost friends..
lacked of sleep..

the best, so far!!

and err… painful arms and shoulders too..
thanks for those heavy goody bags!!

10 years in service… sure 10, friends??

all in 1.. from government service, specialist, lecturers, private prac., and ‘someone’ in MDC!!!

*still few more points to ‘catch’ this year..*

tough fight!

i took a deep breath..
and exhaled slowly…
carefully walked towards him..

he was tying his shoe..
ready for his evening walk..

i sat..
he smiled..

“Lid.. nashwa mungkin kena repeat year”
i broke the news..

silent..
*continue tying his other shoe*

“nashwa tak cukup case.. kalau tak complete schedule tak boleh ambik exam”

he stopped..
looked at me..
expression-less..

Allah knows what he’s been through in his office this morning..
and now he had to hear this heart breaking news..

“ada masa lagi tak?” his only question..

“err.. ada..”

he stood up..
turned..
and walked away..
his words trailed off..

“buat la nashwa.. habiskan.. jangan repeat..!!”

sympathy nor motivation..
i got neither..

the numb pain from laparotomy done a month ago suddenly throbbed..
i felt like crying..

“ok..”

if only he said
“takpa.. buat yang boleh je”
or
“try your best, nashwa.. it’s ok”
i’d have been terribly relieved..
and put all the excuses and blames on that ruptured cyst..
i’d not push and strive..
to be in the list of those eligible..
for the final exam..

that was in 2001..
arwah walid was always there..
‘teaching’ and ‘pushing’ me to fight!

how tough i thought life was!
and how i wish i’m a lot more tougher to face it now..

اللَّهُمَّ لا سَهلَ إِلاَّ مَا جَعَلْتَهُ سَهْلاً
، وَ أَنْتَ تَجْعَلُ الْحُزْنَ إِذَا شِئْتَ سَهْلاً

Ya Allah.. tidak ada kemudahan kecuali sesuatu yang Engkau permudahkan, Engkau menjadikan kedukaan itu mudah sekiranya Engkau kehendaki.

رَبِّيْ اشْرَحْ لِيْ صَدْرِيْ وَيَسِّرْ لِيْ أَمْرِيْ

Ya Allah.. lapangkanlah dadaku dan permudahkanlah urusanku

small no more..

salam all..
don’t adjust your screen setting, ok..
or rub your eyes..
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it’s just me..
Syahmi Haydar
and obviously i look sad..
the turban is there for a reason..
thanks to my mom!
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i look cool, eh??
with that over-sized slipper..
waiting patiently to see doctor..
i know she’ll do ‘the best’ for me..
mom said i need more than her turban and aloe vera gel!
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ok.. i’ll skip this..
‘the best’ seems to be the worst pain i’ve ever felt!
but..
somehow..
i managed!
thanks to my walid!
my hero!!
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mom said “this is part of growing up!”
i’m happy..
cause i feel like i’m not a small boy anymore..
shall be more careful next time..
rite??


till we meet again, all..
do pray for me, ya!

My Mayra..

a story of my girl..
started on 2.1.2005..
err.. nope..
37 weeks earlier, actually..

and she entered this world..
right after azan Maghrib..

‘a smooth delivery’, i shall say..

she ‘taught’ me to be focused..
cause there were no other signs..
except that constant contraction..
of every 5 minutes after Asar..
followed by my mom’s yell “pegi hospital skarang!!!”

then,
a strong urge of ‘pushing’ came..
3 times..
the gynae came running..
managed to put on her blue gown without tying it!
just on time to ‘catch’ her..

that’s our girl!!

my 6 m.o Mayra..

and 5 days ago…
she turned 7!!!!

i enjoyed being in the ride with her..
along this journey of a mom to a little girl..

treasured our moment together in Japan.. fall, snow, spring and summer! best kan, Mayra?? my pipi merah..

not much of ME in her, though..
i see her walid more, now!!

an apple of walid’s eye

let’s look at few photos of her..
on 02.01.2012..

orientation day.. so excited to be called ‘a standard 1 student’!

in her class.. chit chatting with friends.. a brave girl she is.. unlike her mom!

her BFF… *i hope i’m one of her BFF too*!!

obvious thing that put us in common.. both are asthmatic! sedih tgk gambar ni.. stay strong, my powerpuff girl!!

we had most delicious lunch and cake session for the birthday girl.. right after the orientation..

after movie.. courtesy of Acu..

our surprise gift to her..

yes.. that’s d way, dear.. step by step in life.. we are always there for you.. semoga Allah Merahmati.. Melindungimu sentiasa…

Walid, Mama, Abg Harith, Haydar love you so much, Mayra..!!
Happy birthday to you..
(belated post, i know.. )

wild flower that blooms nicely in our garden.. *sekadar hiasan*

day that was….

1st January was the longest day for me..
i dont think it will fit everything in if i were to note everything down..
THAT long!

so let’s start with what happened 2 days before..
d day when i arranged a surprise party for the staffs..!!

just pizza.. yupp.. the delivery man made the surprise!! photo of Haydar was during our dinner on New Years’ Eve..

we had final grand meeting after that…
everything from the best to the worst in 2011 revealed..
so many things achieved..
and yet still there are things to improve..

and another surprise awaited after that..
for my dear loyal staff..
with the cheques for each of them..

*bling.. bling*..

so nice to be recognized..
and being rewarded..
kann???

our last day in 2011 was full packed with patients..
we skipped our lunch..
we attended every patients..
still they’re some who unsatisfied..
who?

a patient who walked in our clinic 10 minutes after the closing hour..
who supposed to come 1 hour earlier..
and made noise!

well..
she marked an ugly colour to our wonderful 2011!!

that’s the reality..
nothing else left to say..
customers always right??!! no??!!

the longest day came right after that..
1st January that was..
dear husband got an exam to start with..
he had sprained neck to go with it..
silent P wasn’t totally resolved..
me with full list of things to prepare before the sun goes down..
and the maid suddenly decided to take a day off..
but later left us with headache on
how-on-earth-she’ll-be-coming-back-when-there-was-no-bus-around!

finally i hit my pillow at 3am!!

hmm.. can i stop here??
i’ll let you peek at what happened on 2nd January..
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yeppp… it’s all about that girl!!

till then..

*psstt… how’s yur 2012 so far??